I keep seeing the same photo of a woman being posted on Facebook. A photo of a woman who I have known for a very long time. A lovely photo. She looks beautiful but she isn’t the same person I once knew and I was thankful the photo was tagged so that I could identify her. At some point, surgery happened. Now the smile that shines comes from a nice tight face which looks full and perfectly defined. Her body which was once petite and thin has become quite voluptuous with time and money. She looks lovely, yet it makes me sad.
These photos represent the same path of so many women who are unhappy inside and out. They can’t accept what life and time has given them. I always encourage people to invest in themselves but this is not the type of investment I personally recommend. I refuse to judge anyone who makes this choice but wish other steps could have been taken to foster self-esteem. I certainly understand the “look better, feel better” motto but nobody is perfect. Please embrace your imperfections. For example, I was fortunate enough to inherit the Fritz nose. It’s not lovely. It’s not even straight. It’s not even close to being small and petite. People constantly ask me if it has been broken. No, not broken, I was born this way!
In order to feel better on the inside and out, invest in yourself. Make a time investment. Everyone deserves a little “me” time away from the chaos. Find something that helps you feel better about you and fosters self-worth and self-confidence. This doesn’t mean hitting the bar with your friends for drinks. Who feels better about themselves after that? Who is better prepared to dive right back into family life after cocktail hour? Not me! Hit the gym, go for a walk, run, ride your bike, connect with nature. Do something to clear your mind and suddenly you will be a lot more appreciative of life as it is even with all those little bumps in the road.
Focus on building your confidence. If you feel good about yourself, just the way that you are, you will be more productive and be a better mom, wife, employee and athlete. Be confident! Here are a few tips from eHow to help you get the job done, please take the time to read thru these tips as they can help you in so many aspects of your running life.
- Confidence is one of the most important factors to building self esteem. In order to be confident, one must become very positive. Love yourself no matter what people say about you, and always keep your head up high.
- When building self esteem, it is very important to include positive self talk. This may be a very silly skill to you, but to some people, this can help a lot. When you use the self talk method it reduces your stress. Also, sending a good message to your brain can improve your self esteem.
- Choosing good and supporting friends is also one of the most important ways to improve your self esteem. Make sure to choose friends that will not criticize you, or make fun of you in any way. Having supportive friends can boost you self esteem magnificently. Anyways, why would you want to have a friend that makes fun of you?
- Volunteering for any city or services builds self esteem also. When you volunteer for an organization, you make yourself feel better, in return, building your self esteem. Not only do you help yourself, but you also help others. When the people you help say thank you, you become very confident and proud of yourself.
- If you are struggling with building self esteem, try something new. When you try something new, make sure that it is a little out of your comfort zone. When you accomplish something out of your comfort zone, it makes you feel like you are the king of the world.
- Setting healthy goals is a very important method. When you set out to accomplish something new, and achieve it, it makes you feel very confident. Also, setting goals helps you to accomplish new tasks.
- Having fun may be the most important factor when it comes to building self esteem. Sometimes, people are not confident with themselves, so they do not go out and have fun. Having fun and laughing makes you feel better, and relieves a lot of stress you may have.
So according to tip #7, drinks with friends is sometimes acceptable, after you hit the trail and get your workout in for the day! 🙂 Just remember to take the time to get out and reconnect with you so that you can be thankful for the blessings in your life. The poorest attitude will be corrected within the first mile of a run. I promise. Things always look better when the blood gets flowing! Use the eHow tips above for life, running/triathlon, dealing with boss & family. Be confident, stay calm, cool and collected and know that you are AWESOME!
** Love Yourself ** Amanda – TooTallFritz ** amanda@tootallfritz.com
TooTallFritz 
So I’m approaching my 30th birthday, and no surprise, have found a few “non-red” hairs on my head (I think they are white, so I pretend they are “blond highlights” but my husband claims they are gray). My husband always teases me that he is going to pluck those out for me, but I tell him to leave them alone! I EARNED THOSE. I have a few female cousins who have long hair streaked with gray (or almost completely gray), and they wear it with pride and I think they look beautiful. (They are also athletic/outdoorsy and just embrace natural beauty in general.) I have never once dyed my hair, because I was blessed with such a beautiful color, but I hope that even as I lose that color, (as sad as that will make me,) I still have the confidence to embrace whatever other natural color comes out.
However, I do have to add a disclaimer … I did break my nose (when I was 11) and with my mother’s encouragement, got it straightened out (and a bump shaved down) when I was 18. I didn’t want anything crazy – just wanted it to look like the “natural” nose I was born with. And I think it actually bothered my mom more than me. I probably would have just accepted it had she not suggested/insisted on (and therefore paid for) surgery.
Sometimes when people break their nose, it inhibits breathing. So it’s probably a good thing that you got it fixed both for running & life.
I do blonde highlights, mostly in the spring because my hair gets so blonde in the summer that when it starts growing out in the winter it looks kinda yucky. I also have a few white, I mean blonde, hairs. 😉
Hubby is really struggling with the big 4-0, I wonder if I’ll have issues too. I’m 38 now and 40 doesn’t seem like a big deal. 30 was big for me though, that was rough, good luck!
My septum was deviated from the break, and breathing through my nose was difficult (although I was fine playing soccer), so that was the appeal of the surgery for me (and probably why insurance covered so much of the cost). I’ll tell you though, recovery SUCKED. Surgery is serious business!!! Especially on your face. I was 18 though, and pretty naive about what it would be like.
I started going gray in grad school. I called my mom to cry about it … and she told me buck up, she was gray by the end of high school. For a while, my husband dyed my hair for me, but I stopped that. I already get IDed to buy spray paint, so no need to labor over a few grays.
But as for the rest of this whole self-confidence/self-esteem project, boy do I need help. When I lost weight, I feel like I got more self-conscious because more people were looking at me (in my mind’s eye, at least).
Try the things on the list! I think the self talk could be really effective! Use the self talk like a mantra you would use in running! Surround yourself with postive people too, that is a big one! You are AWESOME!
once again you hit the nail on the head at the perfect time! I was just telling a friend last night I need to find that inner confidence and bring it. I feel like I just talk circles around myself because I am nervous when I am out of my comfort zone. Running is my comfort zone…I need to branch out.
You have a TRI coming up in 2 weeks, that is HUGE! And a big step out of the box, right? You are running your first marathon this year and killing your training! You are doing great, Jeni & everyone loves you. Thanks for being so positive to keep the rest of us up even when you may not be feeling it yourself. Hugs!
Love!!!!! Love!!!!!! Self esteem is so important. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately since my sweet daughter is getting older and going into kindergarten. I really believe in positive talk and self talk and exercise for building confidence.
I use self talk & mantras for running but hadn’t previously thought about it for “life”. I think it’s a great tip!
what is your mantra?
I use different ones for different circumstances but the most tried and true mantra is “I’ve got this”. When thoughts get foggy in a short/fast race, then its just “push, push, push”. That’s what I use for a 10 mile & under race. I can’t seem to master keeping it together for a half or full. I loose my push in the 9th mile. 🙂
I LOVE this!!! Self confidence & self esteem are so very important! I have found that the older I get the more I appreciate me!!! The grays are starting show but that’s what hair color is for! As far as turning the big 4 0…. I find it no different than 39 or 38… Living is a state of mind not a state of age! I know 50 y/olds who are like 70 y/olds & vice versa! I take every “laugh line”, stretch mark, gray hair, etc as a badge of honor. Life is not about cruising to the end in a perfectly preserved body but to come sliding into the grave saying WOOHOO WHAT A RIDE! Life is for LIVING!!!
A big lesson I have learned is I can love someone yet not have them in my life. Negativity breeds negativity- positivity breeds positivity!!!! Surround yourself with positive people who lift you up… Not put you down!
& TTF- I don’t think I have ever really noticed your “non” broken nose! Your sunny disposition, natural beauty & radiant personality are what I see!! 🙂
Well said, April!
As for my nose, it is what it is. 🙂
Great post Amanda. I always struggle with this. Sometimes I’m good, sometimes not so good. Losing 90 lbs (basically doing things for myself to make myself better…the 90 lbs came with it) was a turning stone for me. Now gaining 30 back…I feel the insecurities creeping back in. But I just keep moving along…doing things to better myself. Confidence in yourself is a big thing in all aspects of life…family, running, relationships…
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