Rough Winter…..

The last three months have been even more difficult than what “normal” life brings on a daily basis.  So many of my friends, acquaintances and even my own family has suffered the loss of very beloved family members, young and old alike.  I’ve been to more funerals/wakes/memorials in the last 3 months than I have in the last 3 years. These things tend to be cyclical.  We grieve and mourn together so we can comfort one another.  It’s not fun but we are all in the same place and have an unspoken understanding of how difficult it is for one another.  So many tears, so much sadness, so much pain.

Yesterday when the snow started falling, it was almost a relief.  I was thankful to see the blanket of white cover the entire area.  I was hopeful that the cold, blowing snow would somehow cover and maybe even numb our sadness.

Snow_me_Jan 2009

I have hopes that as the snow melts, it will wash away at least some of the pain, refresh us and leave us with the happy memories of those we have lost. 

I know that spring is near.  I can feel it.  As a springtime baby, I am in tune with the birds chirping, the geese flying overhead, the coyotes running and I know those spring flowers are just waiting.  They are awaiting the perfect time to signal rebirth and renewal.

Millenium Park__3-27-12

At times like this, I’m thankful to be a runner.  Yes, my dogs ate my training plan  (they ate my Run Less Run Faster book, wish I were joking but I’m not) but that doesn’t mean that I am lost.  I now run to run.  I run for peace.  I run for solace.  I run to remain focused so that sadness doesn’t overwhelm me. 

I also find it ironic that for the first time ever, I signed up for a spring marathon.  I’ve never had the desire to run one in the years past.  I’ve never had the desire to battle what winter brings and still find a way to run long miles.  I’ve never had the desire to enter flip flop season without toenails.  For whatever reason, I did this year.  And I’m thankful.  Focusing on the miles, just enough miles to “finish it”, will get me thru all of this.  It gives me focus when I need it most. 

God Only Gives_Badass

Thanks to my hubby for posting the above random pic on my FB wall.  Source unknown. 

Keep running, in whatever capacity you can manage.  The winter, with whatever it has brought you, will come to an end soon.  Let this last snow, cover and numb your woes.  I personally will focus on happy memories and new beginnings with those who continue to stand beside me.  I will NOT take those who remain for granted as I mourn those who are now at peace.  I will focus on life, happiness, and love.  Most importantly, I will focus on me and remember to love myself otherwise I will be empty and unable to lift up others when they are in need. 

** Wishing You Peace & Happiness ** Amanda – TooTallFritz **

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15 thoughts on “Rough Winter…..

  1. I think that is why I love winter so much – I get to hid behind all the snow and dark skies… and for some reason that consoles me.

    I do hope the springy feelings find you soon! Big hugs!

  2. I am very sorry for your loss. And YES God must think I am one Badass person!! To get through my tough times of lately; I am trying to focus on the GOOD, the HAPPY and my training…..it works well. You can only deal with so much and it doesn’t help to have your mind on that anyway…

    It’s ok that your dog ate your book…..I am still doing the cross training, but have reverted back to Hal Higdons training, for the running….the multiple long runs were killing me….

    • Yes, I too can only deal with so much which is why over the last 3 weeks I subconsiously decided to just focus on running the miles rather than hitting a pace. I’m sure come Shamrock Shuffle time, I’ll realize the err of my ways but I’m maxed out right now. Emotionally drained and its too hard for me to push myself. Or maybe I just don’t want to do it. Regardless, I don’t think I could run fast if I had to and I’m somehow content with that.

  3. Great post. Good luck with your spring marathon. Winter running will pay dividends in the spring when we race in shorts and a t-shirts and we can shed the extra 8 lbs of clothing. It will feel like we are floating! 🙂

  4. Well written expose on your thoughts and feelings. I will remember that ending sentence when time comes that I “need a lift.” And…spring is closing in. My friend Steve at Raccoon Grove reports red-wing blackbirds back. I just came in from snow-blowing and shoveling and believe it or not…heard at first…then later seen…a small group of 20-25 sandhill cranes flying W/NW. They were pretty low and in circling pattern and not sure if they were looking to drop down or were using a thermal to gain altitude. Lost sight and sound of them. About the earliest I have seen sandhill cranes moving N-ward here in Lansing. When the chorus frogs start calling…then I know spring here for sure!

  5. Spring needs to be here right now. I love cool rain and gray skies. Winter blues have been especially rough this year- I am surviving right now on people promising me spring is right around the corner 🙂

  6. I’m sorry for your losses and struggles this winter. When the grind thaws and spring arrives I’m sure your perspective will improve. You are a strong and inspiring woman and your emotion struck a cord.

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