Pretty much everyone I know is currently suffering some sort of Winter Depression. Even those of us who normally manage to escape the seasonal disorder are just crabby and depressed. I personally feel as if every day is a roller coaster and I just can’t get my emotions stabilized. I REALLY need some Vitamin D. I really need to run outside. I really need to be able to shove my kids out the backdoor and lock it to play. I really need my hubby to start some sort of project outside the house to lift his own spirits. I really need it to warm up and then, maybe, things will get back to some sort of normal. Hopefully, because I just feel irrational. For example, last week I got some news that really made me excited. I felt like it was a big deal. Now I’ve seen several other people got the same news. Now I’m just depressed and somehow feel like I had no reason to be excited. And that’s just stupid.
I’m also struggling with my own reality. My schedule is packed with daycare drop offs/pick ups, a nasty commute back and forth to the city for work, the J.O.B. itself and family LIFE. Nothing has really changed. Okay, maybe a few things have changed but I’ve never been one to have much free time so I’m not sure why it’s bothering me now. No I can’t do group runs anymore. No I can’t go to any of the four computrainer classes where I’m being constantly invited (and even offered free sessions!). No I can’t go to lunch cuz I’ll be at work. No I can’t take that spin class. No I can’t make the free swim clinic. No I can’t go to that fundraiser. No. No. No. I honestly don’t have time and I’m not just saying that. And I’m currently feeling a little sorry for myself, not because I feel as if I’m missing out but because my schedule just can’t accommodate all of the things that I want. And that’s just stupid.
I think everything is kinda coming to a head this week because I’ve said NO to a lot of people over the last 5 days. Plus I have gained weight and can’t fit into a lot of my clothes and I’m freaking out! Plus it’s March and I’m ready to run fast and I’m too heavy to do that. Or at least I WANT to run fast and the roads are covered with ice and snow. My tune-up race for the Shamrock is tomorrow morning. A local 5K. The forecast is calling for cold and MORE SNOW. Yes, I’m freaking out. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to run fast and that the last couple months of speed and tempo training will be for nothing. And I’m also scared to try to run fast if the roads are covered with snow and ice. I don’t want to slip and fall. I don’t want to be injured. Dr. Alexis has been working super hard trying to keep my body up and running and injury free and I don’t want to ruin it by slipping on a patch of ice. Yep, I’m a nervous wreck over the weather. And that’s just stupid.
So I’m taking a BIG DEEP BREATH. I’m pushing the reset button.
I’m letting everything go. I’m going to start focusing on the positive. Like the fact that I’m healthy. That my crazy amazing kids are healthy. That I have a job. That I actually have a few friends who want me to do things with them even if I can’t. That the sun will eventually come out and melt this snow and ice. Yes, I’m going to start focusing on the positive.
Right now. Join me. Let’s all think about something positive and happy, RIGHT NOW. And starting tomorrow morning, every day before I get out of bed, I’m going to take a moment to reflect and be positive and focus on the happy BEFORE I glance at the temperature gauge. I can do this. You can do this. We can do this!
** Changing The Way WE Think ** Amanda – TooTallFritz **
TooTallFritz 
THE SUN IS SHINING TODAY! And somehow 30 degrees feels like 50 to me. When I was standing directly in the sunlight.
Also my boss is late today because a pedestrian was hit on her train line … so hurrah that pedestrian was not any of us.
Heck yeah! LOL! I didn’t need my gloves and hat this morning so spring is coming, right?
There are people who wish they could accomplish all the things YOU do.
Absolutely. Thank you.
BIG WOW…another most excellent post by you and this one “motivational extraordinaire!” In what I call WDS (winter-depression-syndrome) I believe you just walked yourself out of the psychological-side of that syndrome with the series of pics with motivational quotes. Anyone that reads and lets it “sink-in” can tag along with your positive approach. The timing is good cause I can read the signs winter is losing its grip and it will give way to spring pretty soon…be patient. Don’t worry bout the weight gain…I too am 7-8 lb heavier than my typical marathon mode. Also, consider me as an example…been out since Feb 6th with R-knee/meniscus injury…at first…couldn’t even walk…then able to walk…but always nagging, mild-moderate pain medial-side and no hope I would get back to running anytime soon. Then yesterday, ortho ruled out arthroscopy and said give it cortisone injection. This morning woke-up pain-free, less than 24-hrs post-injection. Dr says takes ca 1-wk to take full effect and said you be running again soon! I am sticking to walking this week…working on distance and duration trying to average 3-3.5 mph. Then next week will insert some short-duration, slow jog or run into it. Having hope is always a great elixir to quash that WDS. And I see you have hope things will change for the better for you if you just focus on the positive…one simple positive thing…each day.
Don’t fret about your 5k tune-up Sat. Yah some snow, but not hearing anything over an inch. Play the run by feel and if it feels to iffy…just fall-back and make it a training run…or do some stride-outs or surge all-out at times and places footing good. Don’t worry about finish time or goal race pace…just find something positive you can do in that race that can help you in towards making Shamrock Shuffle the race you “own.”
And to conclude…I am offering you this “cyber-coupon” where I will personally be your pacer, coach and grunt in some future marathon or half-marathon. Grunt means carrying the water and handing out the gels, or running ahead or back to get and bring you water…stuff like that. Last time I did that I believe was for Melanie Neuman at Mel’s Half. Just not sure what race in the future, cause I have to first rebuild…get thru this upcoming Boston and just finish…probably have to run Fox Valley to re-qualify…then maybe free for you to redeem this coupon at Chicago. That would be my way of repaying you for all the great things you do with this blog and the awesome perspective you provide all your followers. Hopefully that’s something positive to will add to what you already noted for today!
Frogger is on the mend!! AWESOME news! That makes me happy! No fun to see friends hurt and I have a few in the injury zone right now which makes me very conscious of what my body is telling me.
Yes, I’ll take you up on being a pacer once you are healthy and ready. Thanks so much for the offer an thanks so much for always being there for me. You always have words of encouragement and wisdom to bestow and it does not go unnoticed. Thank you.
Love this post. I swear this winter is killing my happiness – but there are always postivies to look at!
Amanda, I am so impressed by all that you do and all that you have achieved. You wake up early and make it to CrossFit with a smile on your face and a matching outfit when I am lucky to even show up with my teeth brushed. You get us scolded at Starbucks for being too loud near the speakers, and you whip your butt training for speed. Keep the warm summer months in sight and think of how much fun it will be to do those Friday bike rides (ok, I won’t be anywhere near you on the trail for those), or the FNRC backyard parties that we will have to celebrate our hard work, or your lunchtime runs on the lakefront. Sooner or later we will even get to take “field trips” to some of the melted trails. Spring is in sight — time change this weekend!!! I forsee a trip to the Trolley Barn to get some post-run ice cream in our very near future!
Thanks, Susan! So kind, as always. I’m just grumpy and tired today. Yes, spring is on the way and yes, it’s going to be AWESOME! Hugs!!
Spot on Amanda, so true. This is the winter that won’t quit and it’s wearing on even the toughest of us. I feel exactly the same as you…I just gottsta get outside 🙂
I was right there with you this week- it all just hit me! I am constantly amazed with all that you do, and freaking out is totally normal. I’m so inspired by you making the choice to be happy. It’s really the most important step!
I love when I read a post and can honestly feel the authors pain/frustration/joy and this was certainly one of those times. Thank you for sharing the other real side of parenting/working/living/running and how sometimes we forget to be thankful and let busy-ness and responsibility burden our minds and our spirits. Sometimes, even when we remember to be thankful, choosing to be happy and embrace life can be HARD to do. I hear ya and appreciate knowing I’m not the only one!!
I’ll be rooting for you to continue to choose gratitude and happiness (I’m going to keep trying to do the same, too!)!
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