Pretty much everyone I know is currently suffering some sort of Winter Depression. Even those of us who normally manage to escape the seasonal disorder are just crabby and depressed. I personally feel as if every day is a roller coaster and I just can’t get my emotions stabilized. I REALLY need some Vitamin D. I really need to run outside. I really need to be able to shove my kids out the backdoor
and lock it to play. I really need my hubby to start some sort of project outside the house to lift his own spirits. I really need it to warm up and then, maybe, things will get back to some sort of normal. Hopefully, because I just feel irrational. For example, last week I got some news that really made me excited. I felt like it was a big deal. Now I’ve seen several other people got the same news. Now I’m just depressed and somehow feel like I had no reason to be excited. And that’s just stupid.
I’m also struggling with my own reality. My schedule is packed with daycare drop offs/pick ups, a nasty commute back and forth to the city for work, the J.O.B. itself and family LIFE. Nothing has really changed. Okay, maybe a few things have changed but I’ve never been one to have much free time so I’m not sure why it’s bothering me now. No I can’t do group runs anymore. No I can’t go to any of the four computrainer classes where I’m being constantly invited (and even offered free sessions!). No I can’t go to lunch cuz I’ll be at work. No I can’t take that spin class. No I can’t make the free swim clinic. No I can’t go to that fundraiser. No. No. No. I honestly don’t have time and I’m not just saying that. And I’m currently feeling a little sorry for myself, not because I feel as if I’m missing out but because my schedule just can’t accommodate all of the things that I want. And that’s just stupid.
I think everything is kinda coming to a head this week because I’ve said NO to a lot of people over the last 5 days. Plus I have gained weight and can’t fit into a lot of my clothes
and I’m freaking out! Plus it’s March and I’m ready to run fast and I’m too heavy to do that. Or at least I WANT to run fast and the roads are covered with ice and snow. My tune-up race for the Shamrock is tomorrow morning. A local 5K. The forecast is calling for cold and MORE SNOW. Yes, I’m freaking out. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to run fast and that the last couple months of speed and tempo training will be for nothing. And I’m also scared to try to run fast if the roads are covered with snow and ice. I don’t want to slip and fall. I don’t want to be injured. Dr. Alexis has been working super hard trying to keep my body up and running and injury free and I don’t want to ruin it by slipping on a patch of ice. Yep, I’m a nervous wreck over the weather. And that’s just stupid.
So I’m taking a BIG DEEP BREATH. I’m pushing the reset button.
I’m letting everything go. I’m going to start focusing on the positive. Like the fact that I’m healthy. That my
crazy amazing kids are healthy. That I have a job. That I actually have a few friends who want me to do things with them even if I can’t. That the sun will eventually come out and melt this snow and ice. Yes, I’m going to start focusing on the positive.
Right now. Join me. Let’s all think about something positive and happy, RIGHT NOW. And starting tomorrow morning, every day before I get out of bed, I’m going to take a moment to reflect and be positive and focus on the happy BEFORE I glance at the temperature gauge. I can do this. You can do this. We can do this!
** Changing The Way WE Think ** Amanda – TooTallFritz **