The Waiting Game …. Cuz I Can’t Fix This

The seasons are always changing.  Things are always happening.  We don’t have control over what happens but we do have control over our reaction.  

in charge

If you are like me, then maybe your reaction, isn’t always thought out.  It might be a bit harder to control the “reaction”.  I’m a fast thinker.  Fast talker.  I sometimes react before my thoughts have fully developed and that isn’t necessarily to my benefit.   I’m an Aries and the sign fits me well. 

Aries

Looking at those adjectives associated with the sign, a couple pop out at me.  Impatient.  Impulsive.  Blunt.  Detached.  I don’t like to wait.  I want to react now.  If something is broken, I want to fix it.  I want to fix things now.  Or yesterday if that’s an option.  It has to happen so let’s just do it.  Now.

ones who find happiness

Yet the older I get, the more I realize that so many things are out of my control.  Especially how others react to a situation.  As an Aries, to me, things are pretty cut and dry.  For others there is wiggle room.  Their reaction is subject to interpretation after I’ve already made my decision and have moved onto the next thing.  They move slower.  They think.  They speak cautiously as if the words they choose are a matter of life and death.  In fact, so slow and so cautiously that I want to pull their words out of their mouth or better yet, tell them what to say.  It’s almost painful for me to await their words and/or reactions.  Sounds dramatic?  It certainly feels that way.  And in so, it makes me …… Impatient.  Impulsive.  Blunt.  And sometimes …. Detached.

I’ve spoken previously about depression (Depression Hurts) and confidence (Strong Enough) issues.  It seems as if there is almost always someone very close to me who is struggling with mental demons of some sort.  I can’t say that I’m immune to those things but I frequently feel detached from them.  More as if I don’t have time for my own mental demons so it’s hard to understand how debilitating they can be for others.  I think God puts these people in my path to keep me humble and to slow me down.  To teach me things about savoring the moment.  To help me realize that some things can’t be fixed now, or yesterday.  To put my impatience on hold because this is something which I can’t control or fix.

I can't fix

I’m at one of these junctures now.  A place where I can’t fix what has gone wrong.  I can’t make someone happy.  I can’t take away their pain.  I can’t make them love themselves.  I can’t make them feel worthy.  Or strong.  Or beautiful.  Or smart.  Or amazing.  Or even normal.  And that sucks.  Miss Fix-It can’t fix this.  So I’ll wait.  And I’ll pull out a few of the better Aries characteristics.  I’ll be strong, optimistic ….. And loving. 

I know people go thru these things every day.  And it’s not fun.  If you’re the one struggling with mental demons that are leaving you feel worthless and alone, go get help.  Talk to someone.  You’re not alone.  If you are the friend, daughter, mother, wife or neighbor to the one struggling, just be there and try not to obsess over the fact that you can’t fix everything.  Don’t take it personally.  Dry those tears and be ready when they need you.  I’ll be waiting it out with you.  Smile

** The Waiting Game ** Amanda – TooTallFritz

Advertisements

Depression Hurts….

You have all probably seen the commercial with the weimaraner holding a tennis ball looking sadly at a depressed man.  Then the sound bite, “depression hurts everyone”.  If you know weimaraners, then you will love them even when they are pissing on your dining room carpet know that they are always one of three things: Ready,  Depressed/Bored/Waiting for YOU to be READY, or Sleeping.

Libby_Oct 2009

So whenever somebody is depressed, that commercial pops into my head.  Like a Weimaraner, I feel like I’m waiting for them to come out of their depression.  Like I need to take my ball and roll it between their feet and encourage them to get out the door to play.  But reality is that people who are depressed don’t want to play.  They don’t want run.  They don’t want to take the chance of feeling anything.  So you, like me, must wait.  Be there for them and wait it out.  It may take a long time. 

IMG_0112

You may need to play by yourself for a while.

IMG_0327

Just be patient.  Understand this is a medical problem.  Some people will snap out of it as the seasons change, others will require medical assistance.  Read more on depression HERE or HERE.  

Although, you can’t help them medically, you can encourage them to get out the door to hit the gym with you, take a yoga class or go for a run.  You know how you always feel amazing happy when you finish a run?  Well, that is because the brain releases endorphins or chemicals, serotonin and norepinephrine, during the run to elevate your mood!  These same chemicals also helps fight depression.  Here is an excerpt below on how exercise can help depression.  Full article from the Mayo Clinic HERE.

How does exercise help depression and anxiety?

Exercise probably helps ease depression in a number of ways, which may include:

  • Releasing feel-good brain chemicals that may ease depression (neurotransmitters and endorphins)
  • Reducing immune system chemicals that can worsen depression
  • Increasing body temperature, which may have calming effects

Exercise has many psychological and emotional benefits too. It can help you:

  • Gain confidence. Meeting exercise goals or challenges, even small ones, can boost your self-confidence. Getting in shape can also make you feel better about your appearance.
  • Take your mind off worries. Exercise is a distraction that can get you away from the cycle of negative thoughts that feed anxiety and depression.
  • Get more social interaction. Exercise may give you the chance to meet or socialize with others. Just exchanging a friendly smile or greeting as you walk around your neighborhood can help your mood.
  • Cope in a healthy way. Doing something positive to manage anxiety or depression is a healthy coping strategy. Trying to feel better by drinking alcohol, dwelling on how badly you feel, or hoping anxiety or depression will go away on its own can lead to worsening symptoms.

So while “we” can’t do much to ease the depression of our loved ones, we can let them know that we love them, no matter what, and encourage them to get out the door to get a breath of fresh air and hopefully a few miles on a beautiful trail to boost those endorphins. 

Never give up.   Keep trying.  You may not be successful today but possibly next week or next month.  They are worth the extra effort it takes to haul their ass out the door boost their mood.  You will feel better too because it’s true, depression hurts and affects everyone.  So go, drag a friend or family member out for a run or walk!  Reintroduce them to  your “happy pill”.  🙂

**Boost Those Endorphins ** Amanda – TooTallFritz ** amanda@tootallfritz.com